I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
