i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
no you cant smoke seaweed
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
