i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
