She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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