her vagine was all disorganized.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
