Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize