yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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