why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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