Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
