I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
