Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
