Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
