Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
