That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
