Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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