he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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