I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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