hell yes lets make some ravioli
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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