Umm I'm too high to move.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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