New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
