Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
