Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
