ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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