grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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