Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
