so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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