he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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