Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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