I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can't turn off my feet"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
