she woke up with a sticky ear
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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