Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
