am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
