I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
