My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
