Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
