Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
