? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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