Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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