But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
