help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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