you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
