I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
