I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
