Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
