dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
