Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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