im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
