oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
