So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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