So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I will be naked everywhere
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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