butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
