Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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