was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize