you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
