also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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