Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
