I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize