i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
