I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
