She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
