She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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