How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Someone came in the potted fern
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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