I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
