ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize